So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
