Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants