Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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