dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
