Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
