Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
