I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
