If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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