No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you