The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
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ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
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Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...