Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
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He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
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But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?