i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?