Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
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I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
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I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"