I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.