Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize