Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.