only if we run a train.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today