i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night