i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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