And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
