Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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