so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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