he wants to bone in the snuggie
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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