Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
wow bdsm is so cute
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