Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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