you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
