i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
