So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
