this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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