"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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