oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
and you fell through a lawn chair
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