im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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