yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I'm at about main and main street
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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