i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize