The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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