its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you didnt know i had herpes?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
