No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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