She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize