Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
