he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
