You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
