If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
