fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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