I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize