Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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