people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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