I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
