dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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