About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
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She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
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Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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