butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
