I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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