Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
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But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
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You're a waste of cheezeits
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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