wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
