She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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