We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
