they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
