i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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