Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize