So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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