The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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