dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Did I show you my penis last night?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You made out with two different species that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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