Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
