why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
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