Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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