I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
